It seems kind of ironic to me that this question is posed to me at this perticular time in my life. Here I go on a tirade about to validate every sixteen year old. american whiney,ungreatful, shallow, unregimnted wanna-be, boy crazy,under-educated, naive stero-type EVER but I just got to do it. My apologies to Keating.
Anywho. This is the most difficult time I've ever faced, it seems that everyone around me wants so badly for me to grow up , to be sovereign of my own life.. To do my own laundry for godsakes.
The thing is no one will let me! My best friend in the whole world just moved 572.41 unprocurable miles up the road and after he left it seemed like all the lessons to be learned were dumped on to my plate. I just want to write a letter: " Dear Reality, I don't want to sound rude but the rate at which you are sending me the albatross and responsibility is a little excessive. My UPS man has begin taking speed. I think for all of our sakes you should slow it down.. and send 30$ so support the delivery man's children."
Also I think one of the hardest lessons you have to learn as a teenager is not to be naive about what peoples intentions may be. As teenagers we are geared to believe parents, teachers, cops etc. are our enemies and our cool peers are our friends. Lately however as I am out against the world without that one best friend ( wah wah wah I know)looking around at everyone it's almost barbaric and savage the way we teenagers go after the things we want. And not even just the gratification we desire so eminently but goals that are so fickle or minor. I would dump beans all over the person in front of me in the lunch line to distract them long enough so that I could obtain the last sugar cookie. My mom would sacrifice everything for me. She's even going back to work so we can have enough money for college (even though my gpa blows). I've started to realize that no matter how ducky and affirming it can be to strut with people who will sacrifice anything to achieve what is pleasing at the end of the day my mortifying father with refried beans and ethanol crusted in his mustache really has my best interests at heart.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Don't cha wish your family was hot like mine?Don't cha wish your family was a freak like mine?
bi·zarre /bɪˈzɑr
–adjective-markedly unusual in appearance, style, or general character and often involving incongruous or unexpected elements; outrageously or whimsically strange; odd; bizarre behavior.
Right next to that definition in the dictionary they should post a picture of my batty barmy old family. We are very small and tightly knit -not that our size takes away from the anomalous nature we crave- so the picture would surely fit. Your eyes would drift first to my dad because for some odd reason he always tries so hard to smile in pictures the strangest looks are conceived. Your eyes may wander next to my mom. She is very cute and fat. Her mouth will most likely be opened because she likes to make car noises when she's nervous, and there will be some intricate but seemingly purposeless entwined yarn creation spinning from the cold shiny blue knitting needles that never leave her hands or her heart. My Aunt Faye will be rocking in her chair with a a bowl of beans that she is snapping in her lap.Her mouth will be blury because it never stops moving. Her husband J.D. will be standing next to her grinning ear to ear with his toothless smile holding up his biggest crab catch of the summer. You won't be able to see any of this however because he thinks that the small squirrel humping the bush behind all of us is the camera.My itty bitty memaw , popop and grandma will all behuddled together trying to figure out what is going on. Memaw will me scowling at grandma because once again grandma died her hair fire engine red and this is just not how classy "chichi" southern women should be ( I think that she is secretly very envious.) Me and my brothers will be standing by our my auntie sandra. Dan will be setting the back of memaws hair on fire because due to the mass of hairspray needed to keep up her look, we both know that it won't take long for his alfa romeo watch to catch enough virginia summer sunshine to create a comfortably warm glow, which we are sure will add to the lighting of the picture. Matt and Sandra will be holding pictures of cats up that they printed from the internet and my uncle P will be standing adjacent to them pulling at his crotch with the most unpleasant look on his face because his friend Jack Daniel is snuggling in an irksome position with his best friend Johnson. When the picture has been taken he will groan loudly as he pulls out the largest bottle you have every seen from his marry poppins boxers. Aunt Faye will through her beans at him. J.d. will figure out he was standing the wrong way. Mom will cry "VROOOM" dad will steal pauls bottle gulping maniacly until Paul catches him, memaws hair will catch fire and grandma will need to call a real fire truck. Matt and Sandra will continue dicussing there remarkable talent as cat whisperers and all will be perfect.
–adjective-markedly unusual in appearance, style, or general character and often involving incongruous or unexpected elements; outrageously or whimsically strange; odd; bizarre behavior.
Right next to that definition in the dictionary they should post a picture of my batty barmy old family. We are very small and tightly knit -not that our size takes away from the anomalous nature we crave- so the picture would surely fit. Your eyes would drift first to my dad because for some odd reason he always tries so hard to smile in pictures the strangest looks are conceived. Your eyes may wander next to my mom. She is very cute and fat. Her mouth will most likely be opened because she likes to make car noises when she's nervous, and there will be some intricate but seemingly purposeless entwined yarn creation spinning from the cold shiny blue knitting needles that never leave her hands or her heart. My Aunt Faye will be rocking in her chair with a a bowl of beans that she is snapping in her lap.Her mouth will be blury because it never stops moving. Her husband J.D. will be standing next to her grinning ear to ear with his toothless smile holding up his biggest crab catch of the summer. You won't be able to see any of this however because he thinks that the small squirrel humping the bush behind all of us is the camera.My itty bitty memaw , popop and grandma will all behuddled together trying to figure out what is going on. Memaw will me scowling at grandma because once again grandma died her hair fire engine red and this is just not how classy "chichi" southern women should be ( I think that she is secretly very envious.) Me and my brothers will be standing by our my auntie sandra. Dan will be setting the back of memaws hair on fire because due to the mass of hairspray needed to keep up her look, we both know that it won't take long for his alfa romeo watch to catch enough virginia summer sunshine to create a comfortably warm glow, which we are sure will add to the lighting of the picture. Matt and Sandra will be holding pictures of cats up that they printed from the internet and my uncle P will be standing adjacent to them pulling at his crotch with the most unpleasant look on his face because his friend Jack Daniel is snuggling in an irksome position with his best friend Johnson. When the picture has been taken he will groan loudly as he pulls out the largest bottle you have every seen from his marry poppins boxers. Aunt Faye will through her beans at him. J.d. will figure out he was standing the wrong way. Mom will cry "VROOOM" dad will steal pauls bottle gulping maniacly until Paul catches him, memaws hair will catch fire and grandma will need to call a real fire truck. Matt and Sandra will continue dicussing there remarkable talent as cat whisperers and all will be perfect.
duh..
After everything we read and discussed about oedipus rex, fate, predestination, freewill,responsibility and all of that I feel like I'm walking away with more questions than knowledge. Maybe thats part of understanding?
At first I thought Oedipus gave me insight into my dads phrase " Life's hard, then you die baby." Which I suppose the story did momentarily. You can't change your fate... Running from it will create chaos and accepting fate will bring lead one to theres. Secondly, the nature of responsibility is like a security gaurd with a big old nightstick and a beer belly full of resentment. It is not slighty sympathetic, and it doesn't matter what kind of person you are. Every action will have a consequence. You are responsible for even the actions you don't mean to act... If that makes since.
Then along comes Harold crick. He spends his story attempting to change his fate and, following the pattern, the does create chaos. He accepts his fate, the chaos ceases, and he meets his destiny. But - he changed it!!
Or did he?
Was that his fate all along?
Maybe it wasn't and everyone is in control of there own destiny.
So why then does mankind feel the need to have a creator who is all empowering and divine?
Do we want to control our fate, or would we be better off in some gods' hands?
Definently not in the case of Oedipus.
Should we try do act noble, or will and ultimate fate prevail no matter what?
if the ladder is true, than should we just do whatever pleases our own soul? Do we tell ourselves that fate exists to feel better?
Are fate and freewill really incapable of coexistance?
Does any of it really matter?
At first I thought Oedipus gave me insight into my dads phrase " Life's hard, then you die baby." Which I suppose the story did momentarily. You can't change your fate... Running from it will create chaos and accepting fate will bring lead one to theres. Secondly, the nature of responsibility is like a security gaurd with a big old nightstick and a beer belly full of resentment. It is not slighty sympathetic, and it doesn't matter what kind of person you are. Every action will have a consequence. You are responsible for even the actions you don't mean to act... If that makes since.
Then along comes Harold crick. He spends his story attempting to change his fate and, following the pattern, the does create chaos. He accepts his fate, the chaos ceases, and he meets his destiny. But - he changed it!!
Or did he?
Was that his fate all along?
Maybe it wasn't and everyone is in control of there own destiny.
So why then does mankind feel the need to have a creator who is all empowering and divine?
Do we want to control our fate, or would we be better off in some gods' hands?
Definently not in the case of Oedipus.
Should we try do act noble, or will and ultimate fate prevail no matter what?
if the ladder is true, than should we just do whatever pleases our own soul? Do we tell ourselves that fate exists to feel better?
Are fate and freewill really incapable of coexistance?
Does any of it really matter?
Friday, October 12, 2007
FATE v.s. FREEWILL round 1,985,736,503,373,738,394......and the winner is?
This prompt is the most unpalatable, eminently exasperating question I think I have dealt with since my mom asked me if I had packed my " goodnites" in front of my entire 4th grade class before our overnight trip to rock eagle. Through out the entire unit all signs seems to point to fate. The only problem is, I come from a long line of porch swinging, bible thumping, PRAISE JESUS, Chesapeake boat builders and preachers. Everything in my background is pointing me to a religious type freewill.
So, here it goes... my stab in the dark.
The question seems to imply that fate and free will cannot coexist, I think that fate cannot exist without freewill, and free will would be irrelevant without an ultimate fate.It seems to me that freewill and the choices that one makes will lead each of us to our fate. It just seems like the fate that you are "given" ( theres the Chesapeake blood)- you have to come to by your own choices. Your fate is what it is:final,unchanging..lalala.. but you choose every step of it because it is tailor made for you.
maybe that doesn't make sense but ... Maybe I just want both.
But let my eat my never ending cake dangit!
So, here it goes... my stab in the dark.
The question seems to imply that fate and free will cannot coexist, I think that fate cannot exist without freewill, and free will would be irrelevant without an ultimate fate.It seems to me that freewill and the choices that one makes will lead each of us to our fate. It just seems like the fate that you are "given" ( theres the Chesapeake blood)- you have to come to by your own choices. Your fate is what it is:final,unchanging..lalala.. but you choose every step of it because it is tailor made for you.
maybe that doesn't make sense but ... Maybe I just want both.
But let my eat my never ending cake dangit!
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